Wednesday, October 14, 2009

The Only Thing You Deserve. Comments

Rating: 5.0

This is my first poem. This is my first piece of writing that I put any real feelings into. Feel free to criticize, I know I'm not that good, and I need it.

Retaining the thought of you standing over me at your mother’s house; no shirt, just sweat pants.
I remember telling myself I wanted to be with you forever.
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kay connolly
COMMENTS

2) " My grass will never be green again. " closes it all! ! Beyond words…

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Very powerful emotional write.. First person experience, I feel. " Babies promised in May. /Changes promised tomorrow. /Lies told today. "… What a beauty!

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Kellie Imer 15 October 2009

I really like it, I see no flaws. I could feel the emotion. Bad times always make such great poems and it could maybe help some one feeling the exact same way. Keep writing! ! I'll keep reading!

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Brenda Arroyo 14 October 2009

This is bittersweet. I'm not sure how to react to it. I guess it's just one of those feelings that no one else's words can come close to describing, but yours. I am amazed at how well you were able to express this thought and I felt every bit of your words.

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kay connolly

kay connolly

boston
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