Monday, January 16, 2006

The Never Understanding Comments

Rating: 4.0

You see a ray of light
But… you don't know
Why does it always bright?
...
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Mousheera Shafik
COMMENTS
Yuliya Barannik 16 January 2006

Pretty good but I think it's uneven... I mostly loved about the first half of the first part, the poem is engaging and deep from the beginning, but then it gets so long, i admit i got a bit lost, although very good lines kept coming up here and there... maybe you should consider shortenind the second half, you can make your point with fewer lines. again, but the beginning really touched me, i found it brilliant.

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Mousheera Shafik

Mousheera Shafik

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