Friday, September 2, 2011

The Monster In Your Head Comments

Rating: 5.0

Description: The lines outside the brackets are said by a girl who is talking to herself and the lines inside the brackets is a voice inside her head which she hates

I can do this (you know you can't)
I'm not a loser (who are you kidding)
...
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Broken heart emo
COMMENTS
Brian Trujillo 09 September 2011

I liked it, but it seems like a self esteem issue. I would love to see it continue and developed that the girl slowly grinds the inside voice and triumphs over the voice. Maybe she can attack the voice... Thx.

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Silly Artist 09 September 2011

I kinda agree with Stephen Buoro. Even though the concept is creative, isn't doesn't exactly 'feel' like a poem. continue writing and you'll improve. Remember 'Life's a learning experience'

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Aqeb Benazir 02 September 2011

This is really different and cool! ! I like the imaginative thoughts in her mind, and how it contrasts with her life outside. i enjoyed it! ! very dramatic: D

0 0 Reply
Craig Anderson 02 September 2011

Brilliant text I really enjoyed the ride. But don't let the head girl grind you down. ;) Regards Craig.

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