Saturday, September 6, 2014

The Monster Beneath The Bed Comments

Rating: 4.6

What is that you're seeing
in the corner of your eye
Stealthful foot steps following
never passing by
...
Read full text

Darlene Walsh
COMMENTS
Prabir Gayen 14 February 2019

In your sleep it comes needing to be fed Nibbling a tasty morsel until you are dead....finely penned

0 0 Reply
Prabir Gayen 29 November 2018

In your sleep it comes needing to be fed Nibbling a tasty morsel until you are dead.....good thought

0 0 Reply
Annie 11 August 2018

Funny.. a very similar poem was presented on Dr Who before you wrote this. 🤔

1 1 Reply
Ben Gruder 22 December 2018

Take a look at The Poet's notes about The Poem: Inspired by a poem recited by Doctor Who Season Eight Episode 4 of the revival:

1 0
Bri Edwards 16 March 2017

Darla, please send me a response to Adam Nason's comment from 2016. i had wanted to use this poem in March 2017 showcase, but would not feel right doing it if his words are true! bri :) i hope you are well.

0 1 Reply
Adam Nason 26 September 2016

This is a rework of an existing masterpiece. Whats that in the mirror? In the corner of your eye? Whats that footstep following? But never passing by? Perhaps the lot is waiting, Perhaps when we're all dead. Out they'll come a slithering, From underneath your bed.

0 2 Reply
Bri Edwards 29 September 2015

thanks for offering this chiller for my/our October 'showcase for PH poets', found on my PH site on my poem page. i like this one ESPECIALLY because i've already read and commented on it. :) :) :) and i've probably already sent it to MyPoemLis, but i'll do it again, just in case. and you i'll send to my Poets List, just in case. :) keep on killin'. keep on chillin'. bri :) p.s. as much as i like Akhtar, i think he and i may be thinking of different experiences who is correct! ?

0 0 Reply
Kim Barney 20 August 2015

This would be a great poem to read to young kids around a campfire! Well done.

0 0 Reply
Hannington Mumo 09 August 2015

The inspiring wording is clearly matchless...10/10.

0 0 Reply
Clarence Prince 06 July 2015

It is patient and silent and deadlier than you think. Oh dear, that's surely one to watch out for! Well done, Darlene!

0 0 Reply
Stephen Katona 15 June 2015

A terrific poem to remind us to look under the bed before we go to sleep... It reminds me of the film 'Cat's Eye', about a troll that lives behind a little girl's skirting board.

0 0 Reply
Bri Edwards 03 June 2015

I’ll eat any type. O, A, B, or AB, negative or positive! :)

0 0 Reply
Mj Lemon 26 May 2015

Darlene, This is a perfect blend of suspense and horror....takes me back many years...to campfire tales. This poem is going to become a Halloween favourite

0 0 Reply
R B Seals 01 May 2015

Darla, you wording effectively sets the stage for events that border on the macabre. The element of suspense is evident throughout the writing and is noteworthy. A great play of words to most effectively draw the reader in. Super job!

0 0 Reply
Rl Glassman 29 April 2015

I once wrote a poem quite similar to this one a long time ago! Yours was better though, nice job and I enjoyed the ending! ! !

0 0 Reply
Bri Edwards 22 March 2015

Darla, at first i didn't think stealthful was a 'proper' word. but i found it online and, on the same page, did NOT find stealthy'; i DID think THAT (stealthy) was the 'proper' adjective. Eventually i DID find stealthy, so we are both 'good'! ! ! for some reason i laughed after reading and deadlier than you think. NO, I'M NOT WEIRD! ! ! ok. well, ========================================================== maybe a little bit. BIDING, not bidding, young authoress! bide bīd/ verb archaic dialect gerund or present participle: biding remain or stay somewhere. how long must I bide here to wait for the answer? in general [i think], in such a situation, if double consonants come between two vowels, the first vowel has a 'short' sound, not a 'long' sound. i'm guessing the second vowel does also. sitting, winning, falling, ............... and i think, in general, with one consonant between two vowels, the first vowel has a 'long' vowel sound. biting, writing. smoking, etc. - - - - - - - - - - - - - When you have grown enough to be a tasty morsel ................ a much bigger laugh here! - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Darlene, if it's raining there today, , like here, ...................... try my ('6 Foot 3'......[LONG; Scary; Gross; Murder] or (Alien's Oyster-Feast........ [Fantasy; Humor? ; Alien Invasion? ; Personal] ======================= these lines made me laugh AND kind of 'SHIVER'! ! ! Out in darkness slithering from beneath your bed ........AND i do NOT mind snakes! try my: Mary's Pet....[Humor; Human nature; Pets; Scary? ; Grade school] WOW! these lines did NOT make me laugh, BUT i got a huge SMILE on my face! and another bit of a shiver! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! a slither-shiver? ? to MyPoemList. and i think i'll send at least to John Westlake. i'm loving it! no wonder you got Bob............to protect you! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! or do you protect HIM? ? bri :)

0 0 Reply

ooooooo spoooky nightmare poem...good rhyme...

1 1 Reply
Darlene Walsh

Darlene Walsh

Philadelphia
Close
Error Success