The Mad Loser Poem by Lakshmi Venkataraman

I stare
And laughing hysterically I ask
Should I be a part
Should I stand away n watch?
Why make me a part
If all I have to do is watch?
I continue laughing,
Losing my mind.
I continue asking
Losing my heart.
Broken into parts
Raving like an insane
Or a crazy madman.
A deliberate loner.

I stumble, I crawl,
I weep till dissolve.
Wishing peace evolves,
Around that anomic soul.

I seek Thee yet again.
Thou made me a part.
Thou took me apart.
Thou made me watch.

All I pray to thee –
Is to grant me three:
A mud curtain;
A fire that devours;
The fabled eternal sleep.
I lie at Thy feet.

A failure in all,
Not a daughter,
Not a sister,
Not a friend,
Not a student,
Not a learner,
Never a lover;
Yet failure in all.

I, the mad loser –
Wrote it all.