Saturday, July 28, 2012

The Invitation Comments

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Something is between us,
the eye of a needle,
a bitter pill, a road
with too many miles.
...
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Ronald Shields
COMMENTS
Alex Roth 04 January 2013

It's good Roland, but you should let your image speak, rather than explain it. The poem, in my humble opinion, should have ended with the line, closing on the bright light. Instead, you explained your image with the tenth line, its final beam an invitation. The poem's entitled, The Invitation, so there's no need to delineate the poem's meaning- you've already done that. Remember the tried and true cliche regarding writing, especially poetry, Show don't tell. Overall, a good poem Roland- I enjoyed it.

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Ronald Shields

Ronald Shields

New York City
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