The Great Experiment Poem by Butch Decatoria

Since the day I awoke, into myself, among the dead men,
walking amidst the beginnings ending, into a more serious
self... I awoke.
In my forties a toys-r-us type of young homie, I carried on without worry;
the laid back kid- type of guy, who'd love to be in love with love, the romantic idea of...perfect kiss supernovae.
Something more than now, at war with our doubts, the lies every damned person spewing;
I wanted more than something like this. Why now, now when everything begins to end...the child now must grow up. (Freudian)
Don't depend...
Alone alive separated from that human connection, feeling complete, recognition of lives all the same, or somethin'.
All as one as life as grand as vast... as love,
as cosmic as... heaven up above.
Since that day I woke,
I begin to miss it the most, that human experience, that carefree dreamlike
Paradise,
we are amiss, still sadly resist, still imperfect
The truth we have already dismissed, losing Love to survival mode.
I feel lost, yo-without that feeling connected.
Fathers and sons, bro to bro, each other know, y'know?
Since the day I awoke


to childhood's end, at war with the souls of men, again ourselves we harm,
the pain without... and on earth, a home, a world full of soul...
plurals about, praying to one, just one to know.
Since it's sad bitter times just before the night, let us bask in the last rays of Golden
sun, the light t'while the green miles
before we are undone... get woke.

At war / in hell—a hell of pitch dark, drowning in the black
Of fear, the space time, its infinite width, men want to claim, define (upon to gorge)
To manifest more a destiny beyond barbarian, past angst and hungry
For purpose, for a shared experience as a whole / a world,
For something more than what's real, made here,
earth bound and heavy...
I awoke.
As Human as Experiment, a flagella in Terra's petri-dish.
Amidst the suffering, our beautiful breakdown, I awoke.
I see it now, now at dead ends... here's looking forward to childhood once again. Before. Gone.
Only human. An oxymoron,
I am the great experiment.