Monday, February 13, 2012

The Fluvial Mind Comments

Rating: 4.1

If the path before you is clear,
It may be your eyes but definitely another's mind;
If you know what you are looking for,
Then that is all you will ever find.
...
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Rishit Desai
COMMENTS
Kay Staley 18 June 2014

Not spectacular by any means. Poor rhyme scheme, mediocre vocabulary, lack of convincing emotion, and purposeless meaning that has no power to move readers' thoughts in any certain direction. Like a river had no choice but to flow is a nice line that cleanly shocks the reader as they ponder that thought taken for granted in their mind. This poem does have a nice vague, almost morgue impression left upon my mind. It could be vastly improved, but yet already has a good start on being something worthwhile, which could be said of almost all poetry.

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Mihaela Pirjol 18 June 2014

I love this poem! Well done!

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* Sunprincess * 18 June 2014

............very nicely written....I was kind of disappointed to see this poem end.....congratulations on member poem of the day...

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Aftab Alam Khursheed 18 June 2014

After a long time seen new born poem fluvial mind lovely very nice enjoyed mind with soul

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Savita Tyagi 18 June 2013

Beautiful poem. Yes it takes a long time before most of us realize how our paths have been chalked out way before we knew any thing. enjoyed reading.

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Captain Cur 19 June 2012

Loved the title, the message and the flow. Great write.

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Anita Sehgal 19 June 2012

nice.. well written

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Jasbir Chatterjee 19 June 2012

short and beautiful...indeed, one has no choice but just follow along and make the best of it...we might think we know what we want, but that is just an illusion....yes, I like this poem very much, especially the title...28788

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Pankajam K 18 June 2012

wonderful read. Life's realities are explained with a flowing river that merges in the ocean or goes unseen in the desert. enjoyed.

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Oludipe Oyin Samuel 18 June 2012

Striking and soothing. It flings the mind across a space of a renewed soul. Larger meanings, concrete feelings. Great job!

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the poem, i think tells us about the various choices or path we take in our life, we can either disappear without leaving a mark in this now, without leaving stones unturned, or we can make something worth of our life and the world just like the drops of river eventually form the whole ocean.

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Ramesh Rai 20 February 2012

mind, river, flow. good expression. great feeling and great poem.

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Shahzia Batool 18 February 2012

If the path before you is clear, It may be your eyes but definitely another's mind NEWTON said: if i have seen further, it is by standing on the shoulders of giants.... the poem offered a beautiful reading...

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Wahab Abdul 16 February 2012

Great, great poem! what a contend! i really like it.

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Rishit Desai

Rishit Desai

Mumbai
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