One day everything was fine
Then the clouds covered the sunshine
One moment we were loud and smiling
Then I have nothing,
...
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Tomorrow and yesterday we say the words. Today, we only regret. GW62
This has very good potential, very good, however the ending doesnt seem to flow well with the structure of its intent.... Good job.... Bonnie
The emotion in this is very strong, and I like that, but I'm having trouble connecting the thoughts in this piece. It's like it doesn't flow right to me. Nevertheless, I like this piece quite a bit.
I think you are a poet of merit.