The Day I Stepped Forward Poem by Elizabeth Jacqueline Mpanga

So on this day a thing struck me
a sudden truth that nearly knocked me flat;
I stood stunned at the force of it, breathless.

All my life I loved, and asked too little for myself.
I played the charitable stranger, always stepping back
so others might have their happiness.

Not from selflessness, I see now,
but from a martyr's crown I placed upon my brow,
taking joy in their finding what I denied myself.

I hid behind a brave face, rehearsed and certain,
a mask that told the world I cared nothing for love,
that I scorned romance, shunned soft gestures,
kept my hands folded against the reach of affection.

I lied to myself long enough to believe it.
Ashamed, I watch how I robbed my own heart
of the simple grace of being loved.

Then I met you.
And for the first time I dared, really dared
to challenge my old fears, to unclench my jaw,
to open the door instead of stepping aside.

I promised to give you all of me,
to love fully and leave the rest to fate,
to drink the sweetness of each shared minute.

For the first time a warmth filled me,
not just comfort, but a light that kindled my soul.

I love you.
Remember that.