Please don't forget the Black Things.
They're with you where you go.
And always just beyond you.
The next mistake, you know.
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i rather like this one! good stuff mr 1962.22 other comments means i cant add anything that hasnt been said already - but just letting you know i like it. al.
Nicely done! A combination of the high beauty of thought and language.
As far as rhyming poetry goes, your 'end rhyming words '...go - know, deed - need, blue - do, day - everyday, be - see, bay - everyday, are at the very least bland and uninventive. I have nothing against poetry that rhymes, but come on, let's have a bit of imagination. As you give a great deal of honest crit. to others, I am sure you will defend my right and value my assessment of your work. Regards, Ian Bowen
This poem has deep intrusions into life's naked truths..something we cannot escape told so poetically so wonderfully. Kudos Master
This is one of my favorites of yours. Your poetry is very beautifully written, and by far deserves greater than a 10! ! Keep them coming.
Although I like this poem because it is some what original and unique, but I too have mixed feelings about it. I try to master all my black things by white things and I find that the white things conquire the black things. If you let those black things take over your life then your life must be very depressing indeed. As I said before This poem is unique and deserves a score, so I mastered it by the white things taking over and came up with a 9 cheers MRS Sylvia Spencer
Oh, yes! Those Black Things we all know! Winston Churchill called his recurrent depression a 'Black Dog, ' a description I have always considered fitting, but in this poem I sense that 'Black Things' have a place in our lives. We learn all the strength and value we develop by our interactions with them. And they do give us choices, not just 'flight or fight, ' as the psychdoctors would say, but compassion, patience, determination, loyalty, love.....
Hi Greenwolfe 1962, This poem also bears a similarity in form and structure to PAYING.It is good to see that even in a postmodern dispensation poets are able to maintain this aspect of form and structure in their work, Keep writing. Enoch.
Yes I agree that this black is due to our tragic flaw, the error in judgment, … we as humans sometimes fail to cogent the equilibrium and thus face tragedy… black highlights the white…thanking you for drawing my attention to a beautiful and well expressed poem.
It is really a lovely poem.the black thing symbolizes our wrong deeds and can not be avoided.But the only way to get away with them is that we should be conscious about them.nice job.
This is most engaging and a splendid metaphor for the 'dark side' of each one of us. Your last stanza pens your truth lightly, but sincerely and the whole piece is both accessible full of fun. It has a Dr. Seuss feel about it. Great poem. love, Allie ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
Balancing the scale of lifes ambiguous nature can be a mercurial adventure of judgement, and patience....So many times life forces us to roll the dice, and my world, and philosophy has a fairly simple theory to live by......Boxcars & snake-eyes are long shots....and cannot be obsessed over, counted on or feared.It's the combo's in between that are most symbolic of our average lives...and that we should focus on most, as they are the #'s/situations that we are likely to see most, and also those, that we have far more control over, as opposed to the odds of the obscure.This work flows well, and as much of your work does...offers erudite fact, to muse on, and measure. ~ FjR ~ ..2008..
Lovely, lyrical and capturing Greeney, A pleasure to read! ! ! *10*! ! Best regards! Friend Thad
'Black Things' shadow all of us. This seems outside your usual choice of subject matter and it provided the avenue for some interesting writing. Though blackness is not one of my preferred themes, I did enjoy reading this poem very much.
Very original thinking here and with a great message too. Andrew
Lovely idea GW, think I'll try it, well-penned my friend,10 Lynda xx
you are always so clever. you write about things I would never think of. excellent piece, hun.