Thursday, June 8, 2006

The Ballad Of Sparta Comments

Rating: 4.3

Men of old in shining armor,
Brand their swords and ride like thunder,
Cities quake; behold their tremor!
Xerxes turns toward Greece.
...
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Jonzo Bandwagoner
COMMENTS
Rosa Linger 14 June 2006

I love what I 'behold' in every stanza - kept me reading! ! Super use of short phrases to convey a vibrant picture! ! (this is Lynz by the way)

4 0 Reply
Landrey 09 June 2006

I agree Bandwagon, this poem needs you to concentrate more on the meter than the rhyme, but I do love the outcome of the use of dead stops. no pun intended. -landrey

1 0 Reply
Declan McHenry 08 June 2006

A brave take on a fine topic Jonzo although I feel the redress to rhyme constricts the flow. I did a free form piece on Thermopylae back in May entitled 'Strategos' that's still on this site. Quite different. Yours is a fine piece.

1 0 Reply
Neat Bender 08 June 2006

A cool, contemporary take on the epic style. Someone else gave the 7, I don't vote, but it's better than that.

5 0 Reply
Jonzo Bandwagoner

Jonzo Bandwagoner

Huntington, NY
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