The Absence Of Sandcastles Comments

I have a friend in poor health who is very depressed. His family asked me to intervene. Talking to him was going nowhere. In desperation, I asked, What would make you happy? He stared directly at me, I would meet a young woman and she will love me. WHAT! He 's over 70 years old and he still holds onto that tired old male fantasy.He must have seen my frustration but his response was to get mad at me. Impossible desires and frequent anger - until he gives up the impossible desires there will be no peace except exhaustion; until he eliminates his anger there will be no peace except exhaustion. Your poem took me to that place of exhaustion, and it is a scary place; I felt the draining away of hope as well as energy, two things we need to preserve regardless of our age. What do we do in such a crisis, when so much is at stake? How do you stop the pain? And the only answer is what Rilke put at the close of one of his sonnets on Apollo: YOU MUST CHANGE YOUR LIFE.