Friday, August 9, 2013

Tell Me Of A: Place. Comments

Rating: 1.8

Tell me of a place, where crying is: taboo and the glimpse of a smile is inevitable.
a place where there is no need to be thy brother's keeper, because there is no envy or hate to be protected from. a place where there is no keepers of the peace because the peace is the keeper of it's self.
a place where every one breaths and lives in harmony.
a place where bad emotions and incidents arn't welcome.
...
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Talib Deen
COMMENTS
Thomas Vaughan Jones 25 February 2014

I can hear what you're saying, even though English isn't your native language. But you need to check out your grammar, spelling and punctuation to make a real impact. eg. The verb TO BE I am you are he is The Plural We are You are They are. Edit these then run a spell check for other minor mistakes. Once they are sorted, man, you will have a poem.

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