OH NO
Not again
Please no waterfall
(He with his hands to his head)
...
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I like the dialogue style, that you astutely employ here, Mary. Poetics has but one rule of thumb...and that be that there are NO RULES in Poetry! Your lyrical style is melodiously adroit, however, to be literarily diverse, and enable yourself to explore & master a vaster spectrum of poetic styles...is what architects ta true accomplished writer.True, thispiece may in fact strike a different chord from your usual repertoire, but in my literary world different is good, & creates opportunity to be better...And that in itself is good.Very Nicely done, Mary. ~ FjcR ~
Dear Mary imHo you forgot the music, the message is good but to reach the heart they need the music that was there before the words, IMHO. Love from David
Mary, this is an okay poem, IMO. It is appropriate for this website and for the folks who come here to get 'in touch with their feelings'. Keep writing...as the more we do, the better we get. 'Toodles.'
I like it. There is that touch of everyday drama that plays out in the background of life.