Tuesday, May 5, 2015

Survival Comments

Rating: 4.7

There was a time when contemporary
Meant slogging through the osmium of life,
With the goal survival eating ennui,
And companionship undermining strife.
...
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M.J. Lemon
COMMENTS
Kumarmani Mahakul 22 November 2018

Achieving the goal of survival is really very interesting. We face many challenges and achieve beauty of personality and our destination. Where we go we go side by side by side. Mutual understanding and respect run with life and time in friendship. An excellent poem is beautifully penned...10

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Mj Lemon 04 March 2019

Thank you so much, Kumarmani. There is a sense or point at which survival turns into living, when there is companionship.

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Valsa George 06 February 2017

Words like 'drabness, stony solitude, ennui, sameness, paleness' all these present the mechanical side of life devoid of warmth and closeness. Amazing word selection and the total effect of the poem is stunning!

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Mj Lemon 15 February 2017

Thank you so much, Valsa. And you are absolutely right. There is a big difference between just existing and truly living.

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Terry Craddock 21 January 2017

'Sketched and outlined by callous attitude Defined not in miles, but by happenstance. Where we go we go side by side by side.' yes survival can reduce us to happenstance undesireable choices, but facing adversity side by side is better than facing possibly falling alone. 'Yet a temper, a passion, will have died.' exhaustion starvation emotional toil all take their toil, regeneration can be partly or sometimes completely our choice, food for contemplation, startling word choices with massive meaning undertone overtone options, so wonderfully fresh :)

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R Soos 17 November 2016

good travel poem about the road of friendship: Where we go we go side by side by side. Yet a temper, a passion, will have died. Reminds me of the movie you wrote about Sullivan's Travels - How can I be alone if you're with me?

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Mj Lemon 17 November 2016

Thanks so much, Rich. Don't know how you did it, but you reminded me that the road to friendship or the road of friendship can sometimes be a lonely journey, even with people around.

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Edward Kofi Louis 04 September 2016

Osmium of life! ! Thanks for sharing.

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Mj Lemon 06 September 2016

Thank you, Edward. And I'll be returning to your work.

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Bri Edwards 13 July 2015

“There was a time when contemporary Meant slogging through the osmium of life, With the goal survival eating ennui, “ - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Osmium Chemical Element Osmium is a chemical element with symbol Os and atomic number 76. It is a hard, brittle, bluish-white transition metal in the platinum group that is found as a trace element in alloys, mostly in platinum ores. Wikipedia Symbol: Os Electron configuration: Xe 4f14 5d6 6s2 Melting point: 5,480°F (3,027°C) Atomic number: 76 Discovered: 1804 Atomic mass: 190.23 ± 0.03 u Discoverer: Smithson Tennant.................. talk about name-dropping! - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - for a moment, I thought someone was going to eat an emu to survive. but NO! “en•nui änˈwē/ noun noun: ennui 1. a feeling of listlessness and dissatisfaction arising from a lack of occupation or excitement. synonyms: boredom, tedium, listlessness, lethargy, lassitude, languor, weariness, enervation; malaise, dissatisfaction, melancholy, depression, world-weariness, Weltschmerz an ennui bred of long familiarity well, yes, I guess trying to survive could be exciting. ;) I’m not sure I could repeat this to anyone [what you say in the poem, that is], but maybe it is an excuse I could use if I ever want to move on to spouse #5? Elena helped? by saying it is a sonnet, which I wouldn’t know if it bit me! not my ‘cup of tea’, BUT obviously one can’t please me at all turns. but I gladly shall put it in my/our July showcase, on my PH site. thanks for sharing. [perhaps in trying to make the syllable count perfect, you were hampered in connecting with me (and Elena) so well? ] bri :)

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Mj Lemon 16 July 2015

Hi Bri, Thanks so much! And the idea of a Dear John sonnet...what have I done? ? I have really enjoyed the response to this particular poem. I've had a few mails about it...no one seems neutral...People either seem to really love it, or have your reaction...All fair.

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Kumarmani Mahakul 18 June 2015

What is current is stony solitude And proximity remains a distance Sketched and outlined by callous attitude Defined not in miles, but by happenstance. ......Wonderful imagery, right say. Enjoyed, thanks.

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Mj Lemon 18 June 2015

Kumarmani, Thank you so much...Much appreciated.

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Elena Plotkin 14 May 2015

I am having trouble connecting with this poem but that may be because of the title more than anything else because as poems go it is powerful and as a sonnet it is perfection. And since I already stuck my big nose where it doesn't belong, I would change proximity remains a distance to proximity remains at a distance

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Mj Lemon 15 May 2015

Elena, Thanks so much! Actually, that was the original line...and yes, it does work...I think the only reason for the change was to get the syllable count. Again, thank you...

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