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7/28/2025 6:31:06 AM # 1.0.0
sunshine's life, but - sorry to say - your write is not a haiku, Anita.. it hasn't got the features of the 'classic' Japanese form, neither that of a 'modern' (Japanese or not) haiku: - - the basic structure (no more than 5-7-5 'on') is not present here: your last line is too long.. - - a kigo is missed (but it's not the real point ***) - - and it doesn't answer the 1st request to be called 'haiku': a contraposition between 2 images of the world/nature/environment, with a 'oh! ' - a subtle wonder, before the beauty/mystery of nature - with a kireji to separate the two different 'ideas' / images.. (a simple dash, ''-'', can be used as a kireji) (*** also a tiny minority of Japanese classical haiku don't express a kigo) Cheers
yes sir i got your point..than you so much you took time to give me feedback..i have lot to learn from experience people like you and others. many thanks, ..your feedback is much valuable and welcomed..