Suicide Poem by Cris Ben

I was a butterfly caught in your mesmerizing waves
Floating in your cold world of heavy currents
My wings were being torn piece after piece
Colors slowly losing life and grace
With every helpless flap for freedom
But the more I rose was the more I fell.
But I was more than just a butterfly!
I was a young sailing ship full of adventures
Keeper of passion, carrier of hopes and dreams
Alas! Now sinking at the bottom of this wet gravity.
So is this how falling for you feels like?
Like carrying the weight of the ocean inside my lungs
Brain drowning into abysmal insanity
Pumped in with delusions and mad wishes.
Heart being crushed by this dense emptiness
Soul trapped in this wide infinite downward sky
Of particles of hope hanging around those sharp pearls behind your lips
That once made my gullible self a promise
That the word forever could no longer keep.
I stopped fighting with reasons and purposes
To fall freely and further fathom this depth.
While my breath and voice escaped in a rush of air bubbles
For a second I thought, I could be as dead as a driftwood
As the last chance to reembrace the surface
That I had forsaken just to be wrapped around your evanescent embrace.
Space was getting darker yet lighter
Weightlessness, as If am no longer sinking
A sad lullaby gently drawing my eyes shut
And the instance I woke up, there's a vague light
However, not sure if it's a beacon or a mourning candle
For both spectacle to me look the same underwater.