Sublime Rhyme Comments

This stanza 'On a daily...... my sublime rhyme? ' I suggest you do some tweaking. : ) I like 'Always Be Drunk… (On Poetry) ' **** 4 stars for you, Punk.

'This final breath on pages become alive' I think I'd use '...breath.....becomes....'.

Some things I notice in the poem are 1 - a lack of punctuation (except '? 's) 2 - a CAPITAL letter beginning EACH line, 'needed' or 'not' 3 - some unclearness (for me) in what you write/type, ...all of which may bother me, but not much today. ;)

stanza 3: Your 'call to duty'? I'll tell you what I, Bri, think it 'should be'. ...to please yourself while trying your 'best' to not displease (too many) readers.

Maybe 'tick' 'of the second hand'? ? ? What about the 'first hand'? And don't forget the other hands while you're at it... btw, 'welcome, 'New Poet', to PH'.

st.2: 'Do I try to stop this loaded freight train? ' R U asking MY opinion, Miss? ? stanza 5: this is the best I could find: 'tikk - Wiktionary Noun [ edit] tikk (genitive tiku, partitive tikku) match (device to make fire) a small sharp stick.'

(cont.) or if PH doesn't like THAT, 'stanza 2, line 1, word 5: NOT 'fukking'! ! F++king learn how to spell, Michelle. : )))) bri

stanza 2, line 1, word 5: NOT 'fukking'! ! Fucking learn how to spell, Michelle. : )))) bri