Strawberry Typhoon Comments

Dreadful for the teeth too.....erodes the tooth enamel and will cause misery in years to come.....poisonous bubbles to intoxicate and destroy you.......the poem though, is worth the pain...it's brilliant.....

So I reread this piece at least two times and one. I absolutely loved the descriptive language you used. It made me feel the sensation of acid flowing down my throat, salt pouring like an avalanche within me. It was balanced so as to not overwhelm the reader with a sense of over-description (I might have made up my own word right now) . Like the poisonous murderers they are. This was my favourite line. It might be due to my personal interpretation, but it just leaves me with an emotion I cannot now describe. Awesome job!

Could almost taste it! I really like they way you use the words, good write!

aww i feel so sorry for you but keep going you can do it, i have more faith in you than myself! i also agree with Aria about the contrast xxxxx

I quite like this piece. The contrast of the sweet kiss of the rim with the acidic debris the pills leave behind is lovely. The concluding four lines reflect some remorse along with the almost twisted hope of another try. I'm rubbish at expressing how poems affect me but this one did for sure. It's one of my favourites by you now. Thanks for sharing with the outside world.