David, well-told story but your rhyming and rhythm make the poem too sing-songy. This little narrative might be better in free verse, letting you focus more on images and figures of speech and avoid such clumsy lines as So it didn't seem too remiss.
If you have time, check out my new website:
jeffersoncarterverse.com
Tell me how you like it. Yrs, JC
I'm totally committed to rhyme and meter Jefferson, because that's what poetry is. I can't stand freeform which is a lazy man's prose. It's the rhythm that hooks the reader in, so no hooks with freeform. Sorry, we'll have to agree to disagree.
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David, well-told story but your rhyming and rhythm make the poem too sing-songy. This little narrative might be better in free verse, letting you focus more on images and figures of speech and avoid such clumsy lines as So it didn't seem too remiss. If you have time, check out my new website: jeffersoncarterverse.com Tell me how you like it. Yrs, JC
I'm totally committed to rhyme and meter Jefferson, because that's what poetry is. I can't stand freeform which is a lazy man's prose. It's the rhythm that hooks the reader in, so no hooks with freeform. Sorry, we'll have to agree to disagree.