Saturday, May 20, 2017

Stored In The Heart Comments

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I had no idea of who she was,
But knew she appealed to me,
All that I knew, her name was Roz,
So I wove her history.
...
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David Lewis Paget
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Jefferson Carter 20 May 2017

David, well-told story but your rhyming and rhythm make the poem too sing-songy. This little narrative might be better in free verse, letting you focus more on images and figures of speech and avoid such clumsy lines as So it didn't seem too remiss. If you have time, check out my new website: jeffersoncarterverse.com Tell me how you like it. Yrs, JC

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I'm totally committed to rhyme and meter Jefferson, because that's what poetry is. I can't stand freeform which is a lazy man's prose. It's the rhythm that hooks the reader in, so no hooks with freeform. Sorry, we'll have to agree to disagree.

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David Lewis Paget

David Lewis Paget

Nottingham, England/live in Australia
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