Standing By The Shore Comments

He has a broken heart, and the shore is his sanctuary. But you want him to forget about his old flame (who has left him) and move on, and be with you for your heart will mend his heart to bring back a smile to light on his face.

The technical aspects of this work need a bit of polishing. However, I'm quite taken by the approach and the the subject matter, Both are original and provacative. Keep up the good work.

Shiela, your poem, 'Standing by the Shore, ' is a good start toward expressing yourself in rythmic meter and rhyme. It turned out a bit too long. Many of your rhymes were put in place without a real connection to your trend of thought. You are going to write better, as you keep trying; so, keep on writing, and remember to connect thoughts. Frank Gardner

an encouraging write...a compassionate thoughts for someone...nice to read/rhymes.....10

I hope you will love this poem... ^_^ I wrote it for my project in Creative Writing when our topic was about Song poems. Actually, the main idea of the poem is about a love that have yet to be returned... but the scenario which leads to this can be imagined in several views... ^_^ I have my own imagination when I was making this and if you can spare some time please tell me yours... ^_^