Wednesday, December 13, 2006

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As rain brims rivers, springs life on the world,
love’s currents course through artery and vein,
vitality sustain, without which brain
sideways stumbles, soul dumb, flag fast furled.
...
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Jonathan ROBIN
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Lekynn Ashton 20 August 2007

This is a lovely sonnet, Jonathan. This is a fine extended metaphor, interspersed by some wonderful alliteration. Small suggestion? Lines 4 and 12 need a syllable each. Smiles, Lekynn

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