Sparrows Comments
My garden was our playground,
Mine and the cat's too.
Now the sparrows own it,
That noisy little crew!
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i plan to use in Sept. showcase; it's a bit long but i'll squeeze the whole thing in! just like with Vi. bri :)
yes, i've read this, Tom. and i read susan's comment. AND i felt sure i had left a comment, but............i AM getting old (not as OLD as you though) and i don't see a comment from 'yours truly'. let me see if i can find it. =============================== WELL, WELL, WELL! I FOUND my previous comment in my Postings. apparently someone or something got rid of it. i shall not point any fingers. (maybe a toe or two) . here it is: 6/17/2016 9: 11: 00 PM POEM: Sparrows by Tom Billsborough | Delete this message The little sparrow know he's there But pay him little heed................i THINK you'll want to make the singular noun, sparrow, match the verb, pay, or vice versa, if ya know what i mean. ;) loving it so far! done, and i love the whole thing! i also happen to 'love' birds, including the pigeons (band-tailed pigeons) who ate all the cherries off of our dying tree, and all but one of the plums off THAT tree a year ago! to MyPoemList for sure. nice rhyming, but not forced. ok, read it again, and enjoyed it more! bri ;) =========================== ok, now i'll put the poem into my/our July a showcase for P H poets.
The little sparrow know he's there But pay him little heed................i THINK you'll want to make the singular noun, sparrow, match the verb, pay, or vice versa, if ya know what i mean. ;) loving it so far! done, and i love the whole thing! i also happen to 'love' birds, including the pigeons (band-tailed pigeons) who ate all the cherries off of our dying tree, and all but one of the plums off THAT tree a year ago! to MyPoemList for sure. nice rhyming, but not forced. ok, read it again, and enjoyed it more! bri ;)
Hi Bri I might be the cause of your confusion, Brian! Some time ago I was attacked by some Troll who went through nearly all my poems and gave each a one rating. So I decided this twerp isn't going to get away with this. So I went through my list and first of all selected the ones with no previous ratings and merely deleted the poem and re-entered it to eliminate the one score. The surprising thing, and a good reason why I think this points system should be abandoned, is that I was credited with 20 points for each re-introduction without knocking off the points for the deletion. So the idiot had done me a favour! Next I looked at the ones with average scores of 5.5 (i.e. one ten and the Troll's one) and am slowly doing the same with those. Unfortunately, I assume the comments will be wiped. However I don't think I did this with Sparrows as I had two favourite poem scores. My only motive was to show this Troll he or she was a loser. I guess others have been affected and maybe it's time that PH did something about it. I'd say abandon the points system altogether. What do you think? I remember you pointing the error. Looks as though Sparrows have become plural but my typist has put in a capital S! I'll have to stop paying her in peanuts! Tom
Finally! ! ! ! I won through, Tom. It took 6 attempts but I arrived at the Sparrows' nest despite of that half-dozen Failure of Origin signs that PH kept throwing up [I might should word that different]. It was worth the battle, my friend. You captured the essence of Sparrowdom rather effortlessly in this light-hearted poem. You simply must give us more of this Wood-pigeon character, Old Woodie is a charmer, a stoic school-master. with a flock of merry schoolchildren- -it simply cries out for a series of poetry following his passage through life. He could become a star like Snoopy or Woodstock. I tell you true, Tom, you've got a winner here- -just keep Clarisse the crocodile out of the yard. Tom, you have a brilliant eye for the details of what you see- -the first and foremost requirement for being a top-notch write! r.
Sorry I missed replying. Must have had too many beers that day! Sadly wood-pigeons are very nervous birds, understandably as they are game birds. So I watch them from indoors. They usually come in pairs and if undisturbed stay for quite a long time. It's very relaxing watching them as they wander among the excitable Sparrows. I'll think about what you said and think of a few angles. Tom
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8/15/2025 10:58:54 AM # 1.0.0
going into Sept. showcase. :)