Passion has rarely been so well illustrated. However, if I might suggest that you do away with the final stanza. I feel everything else is so universal and that is taken away by the final stanza.
In one sense you have already personalised it in the title, and you have shared that feeling with us. However the last stanza belongs to you alone.
I hope you will see what I am getting at. This is a wonderful poem my friend.
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Passion has rarely been so well illustrated. However, if I might suggest that you do away with the final stanza. I feel everything else is so universal and that is taken away by the final stanza. In one sense you have already personalised it in the title, and you have shared that feeling with us. However the last stanza belongs to you alone. I hope you will see what I am getting at. This is a wonderful poem my friend.