Friday, April 14, 2006

Sophie By The River And Moonlight Comments

Rating: 5.0

Lying in my arms apparently contented
you do not fidget or struggle,
water soothes, fascinates
no temptations to jump,
...
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peter rodenby
COMMENTS
Joseph Daly 15 April 2006

Passion has rarely been so well illustrated. However, if I might suggest that you do away with the final stanza. I feel everything else is so universal and that is taken away by the final stanza. In one sense you have already personalised it in the title, and you have shared that feeling with us. However the last stanza belongs to you alone. I hope you will see what I am getting at. This is a wonderful poem my friend.

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peter rodenby

peter rodenby

newcastle upon tyne
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