Saturday, December 8, 2012
Song Of Bones Comments
Rating: ★0.0
I imagine valleys and no pecking order enemies
A bow and arrow living where the deer go down with tears
No cities born excusing all the crime that's screwed from myth
No profit torn from innocence, advantage to the fierce
...
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7/22/2025 1:40:27 PM # 1.0.0
i may not understand it completely, but i don't hate it. i think i'd rather hear it sung than to read it a 3rd or 4th time. Having the hopeful chorus now and then helps! i would insert the rhyme where you just put (chorus) . A bit of rhyme, and an even enough flow also helps. The absence of punctuation wasn't helpful (or was it?) , but it didn't hurt. bri :)