Song For My Brother Comments

wonderful, wonderful images...simply beautiful...thanks...

I like how you start with 'Follow the ravens', pulling the reader right into the poem. Also lines like 'You wonder if/stars seek a sense of place' and 'the one story that began out of place'. Your use of phrases and periods is interesting to me. I wonder when you read aloud how full your stops are? The periods slow the reading down and sometimes almost stop the poem. I would like to have the opportunity to hear you read aloud sometime. I really like this poem.

Flows as energetically and as harrowingly as the bleeding river inside it itself.