Sometimes I'm a loser yes I am
sometimes I'm ok.
Sometimes I don't really know...
what I am to say...
...
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I have had these same thoughts Amy. Over and Over again, but I still go on, because my purpose in life has not been achieved. I have goals I have to meet before I can finally rest, goals that were stolen from me unjustly 45 years ago, when my mother committed to a state residential treatment center, and they sent me to the state hospital 2½ years later. I deprived of my friends, I was no allowed to go to my friedns for the night, or have sleepovers, or just be able to go without permission, and then a lot of times, that permission was never given. I tried suicide twice, and was caught each time. So I know the pain you are going through Amy, because when I was 12½ my innocence, virginity, security, and trust were all destroyed literally overnight. So now I have the nightmares, the flashbacks, the sadness, the voices in my head, and a complete lack of confidence in the system, because I know how that the system is just there to treat us like we are lower than dirt, and it doesn't matter if we did anything wrong or not. ((((((((((((((((((((((((AMY)))))))))))))))))))))))) . Stay strong Amy, because it is in our strength that we can heal. With super love and big as the sky hugs, Barbara 'If I have to be this girl in me, Then I have the right to be.'
This is a very beautiful and morbid poem Amy.......