Friday, April 29, 2005
Snowglobe Comments
Rating: ★3.0
Sprinkles falling onto frozen faces
Don’t fight gravity
And other facts of life
Lost to the opulence of the city
...
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7/22/2025 2:05:42 AM # 1.0.0
I think you have a good poem here but you need to make it more consistent. What I mean by this is you repeat the phrase “What will you give me for a dream? ” then you don't repeat it between the the third and fourth stanza. Consistency makes for a better poem in my personal opinion. Its good stuff though