Small Little World Poem by Tshielo Nature Otsogile

My small little world, ..
It is somewhat almost non-existent,
In it all things are possible, so you can imagine the battle between my greatest dreams and my most dreaded fears..
Like the earth my skull encases my brain,
And my brain, the overactive mind..
A mind that is a cathedral where voices forever sing, indicisiveness forever preaches..
And of course my anxieties with those long hungry stares..
Hungry for my freedom, freedom of expression and that of just being..
I long for the day i break through those chains,
I long for the day the voices quiten down when i scream for them to,
But unlike you, for me believing is seeing,
For i've grown numb, emotionally inert..
I've lost congruency with reality and so my feelings are forever in debt..
My sadness registers earlier than the event, and happiness always late..
So i'll cry before you break my heart,
And i'll awkwardly laugh joyously when everyone is crying..
And so um weird, maybe awkward..but what of it..
My soul long died through childhood, if not the last bits are constantly dying..

Um an empty shell, within which horrid thoughts forever reverberate..
Almost always louder than the beautiful ones..
So to this my sanity evaporates,
My heart bleeds and the pen is the only coagulant,
And so when i get started, to stop you better shoot me in the head once..
But i'll stop, for it pains me to pain you with my puny thoughts..
Thoughts of my little small world..