Slaves Comments

so exciting piece love the rythm luwi

wow, the voice is perfect. calm at first, yet stating exactly what has been (or is or will be) happening in society. i love the end the most because of the fact that you said that we are all the bringers of these wars, not anyone else. and what do we have to justificate any of these? just plain need for wars and such. excellent.

WELL, YOU COVERED ALL THE 'BASES' OF WHAT IS PRESENTLY (PAST, NOT EXCLUDED) SO APPARENT AROUND THE GLOBE. Your poem starts my mind questioning people and their motives. What separates man from fellow humans? What fills him with a sense of superiority? What justifications are created/have been created to prey on others? How do we justify ignoring the needs of others, ad infinitum? Oh, and, of course, due to our human indifference, our world seems to be nearing its end. All creatures are precious and unique. We're all related and go back to the beginning of life, yet we separate and persecute our fellow man and eat the flesh of beautiful critters. We love to strut and define ourselves by wearing designer labels and bling-bling. Fashion rules us and we wear the same haircuts, shoes, purses, suits, and, yet, we say that we are individuals. We are all slaves, it seems, to ideas, beliefs created by man to keep us in a comfort zone of greed and wastefulness. Yes, I could ramble on and on, but I think I made my point...Love, kindness, understanding, sharing, caring are but a few of the most important things of life we should be concentrating on! Carol

Words that give food for thought. We can all be slaves to one thing or another. Thanks for sharing.

This poem, Slaves, could be a song. I just want to tell you some English words, with which you used the wrong version. In Slaves, near the beginning you use greedy; I think you meant greed. In one stanza you mention the wrong forms of the words: chaotic, neurotic and insomniac. Should be chaos, neurosis and insomnia. Since this is a simple poem, it would best be read aloud slowly with much feeling so it doesn't get that sing-song quality of some poems that rhyme. (This could be a song!) Were you trying to write a long poem of haikus? Maya Angelou, in my opinion, writes simple poems but when she reads them they sound like music. Kaye

Wow. This is so impactful on the reader. Format makes for easy reading and that at a quick pace. Love the simplicity and how dramatic it is.

we are slave of our selves...nice write...

We are Slaves to our past, Great poem with meaning Ahmad.. Andrew 10