Tuesday, June 18, 2013

Skull-Less Comments

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I sit to write
and to redicide
my dull future
and your face
...
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Vishal Sharma
COMMENTS
Brian Jani 30 June 2014

nice poem with a mellow mood but the real.meaning i did not get ut

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Bri Edwards 19 June 2013

i must admit that i don't think i follow/understand much of this, though for being words ordered by a bird in your belly, as i said before, the bird must take the blame. of course the blame could fall a bit on me for living in a different generation, in a different culture, and with a (probably) different language. [i'm assuming here that english is not vishal's FIRST language.....though if it is not, he does pretty well with it.] i think redicide (sic) should be spelled redecide, and i don't think it is in my dictionary although i did not look. but i like the word and think it should be in my dictionary. i believe the following line is awkward grammatically: 'and your gently strokes, ' perhaps 'gentle strokes' is what i would write. does 'skull-less' mean 'clueless' or what? i wonder. also, i think you want YOU DECIDE on the last line, not YON DECIDE. sometimes i miss my mistakes even after proofreading. thanks for sharing young poet!

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Aftab Alam Khursheed 19 June 2013

well penned nice one Vishal

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