Silver Bird Comments

Wow, reading this unfolds like a mini film, your discriptions are so vivid you can see them coiming to life on the screen. great read. Annette

favorite stanza so far: Upon turning corners there's always Someone blocking my progress. I look at his sweaty, strained neck And his back-borne sack brimming With fluttering birds struggling To break free into the night....................i particularly enjoyed the alliterations A grave looking figure in a black gown And scholarly cap rails over something, Scolding a smiling Harlequin, Trying pointlessly to catch him In his torn butterfly net.................maybe grave-looking. i think i saw a Harlequin (duck) in Hokkaido, Japan. Madness mocking Reason ..........this reminds me of Tom Billsborough and me going at it. i, Bri, of course, is Reason! ! ! My shadow is caught on a rusty nail. I leave her begging there and walk away. A child offers a half-eaten apple In exchange for my wrist-watch; I sit down to lunch not knowing what time it is. The masks pluck up courage and crawl Out of the sack and into a lidless manhole..............i like 'silly'. i esp. like the first line. this stanza reminds me of some of the SILLY poems of PH member John Westlake; he has many more which are very serious, not silly. Hark! Rhyming: A flock of Origami birds flies Undoing the cunning spell. The listless Moon sighs At the bottom of a well. And I marvel at the treasure-trove of ideas Thriving in forced seclusion within my mind.............you have certainly let some of them out in this poem! ! i may not remember this poem in a month, but i'll send it to MyPoemList now. maybe it should be in a showcase? bri :)

You know, when i read this what comes to my mind is like series of a story, i really wanted to let you know that i like the way you build the image, the flow thats amazing! as if it let my imagination soar in every line you shared there :)