Shield Comments
Some are made of arrogance,
and some are made from steel.
Protection is imperative,
so all must raise their shield.
...
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Just read Pam's response so I thought I'd view the original. Glad I did. No wonder she was impressed. This is as good as I've read for quite a long time. Tom billsborough
Actually I did revise the last verse to turn it in a more optimistic direction. I liked this version better where there is no need to craft a stronger shield. Sadly I know I will not see that in my lifetime. Thank you very much for the comment Tom. I wont let the praise go to my head.
Your poem is very similar to one of my poems titled Mask I need to check whether I posted it or not. We are wearing a mask and behind it we act and react we never dare to take it out and show our real face to the world since we dare not, since we do not have courage to face the realities, whatever, You nailed it with this poem..Awesome 100+++ I really liked your poem and by the way I read it after reading Pam's poem.
Thank you for the praise Mohammed. If enough of us work for a world where masks and shields are not needed, maybe some day we will get there.
Oh! I love the new ending. It doesn't take away from what was there originally, but it does leave a bit of hope which I like, and it clarifies meaning/intention of the speaker. It still leaves me thinking too, which is a sign of a good poem.
Thanks again for the feedback. I always think the ending of a poem is very important if not the most important part. And yes, I think your suggestion helped me to make it better.
At first I wasn't sure if I liked your poem. It wasn't because of the writing...that is always great...but because of the content. I immediately wanted to refute your message. In fact, I wrote a poem in response that I won't share here because it was really just for me and maybe you. However, after sleeping on it, I realize my hasty gut reaction was shortsighted. Of course, these shields are not good. That is obvious from your choice of examples: arrogance, walls, vulgar wealth, etc. This even sounds like a certain person highly publicized in the news these days. The last stanza still bothers me though. Those with wounded souls are the ones who come back....the ones who return to craft even stronger shields? Do you think there is such a thing as a 'good shield? ' or do you think that these people who are returning will be even worse than what you describe in your writing? I know the message that I have received from this, but I am curious what your intentions were? I've written quite a few poems about walls and veils myself, but I like your take and approach to the subject. Thanks for sharing.
That's a hard question. I don't know if there are good shields and bad shields. Life can he pretty rough for some and I would wish for them a better life and a better world. But many of the hurts I received in life were because I did not protect myself sufficiently. I think people with poor self esteem need better shields. I worked with so many wounded souls as a mental health counselor that I would wish better for them. I think there is so much evil in the world that we do need good things that will protect us. That could be love, family, friends etc. As for myself I realize that I isolate for protection. Probably not a good shield at all. My appeal would be for something stronger yet less toxic. I think good poetry often leaves one to draw their own conclusions and if I made you think, I succeeded.
I have already translated it.Soon I'll publish the translation.I just think over and over again on a small alternative...
Thank you very much for the comment. I appreciate you reading my poem.
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7/21/2025 5:21:28 PM # 1.0.0
All I can say is this: it is perfect! Really enjoyed it.
Well that's as good as it gets. Thank you so much for the kind and generous comment.