Tuesday, November 13, 2012

Schizophrenia Comments

Rating: 2.5

And so I closed my eyes, my soul shielded
They'll never find me through the smoke.
by the darkness. Protected by the warmth
Like a blanket. I should rest here.
...
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Zoe Guillory
COMMENTS
Alex Roth 13 November 2012

This is a good start, but work on redundancies and passive line structures.

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