Sailor Man (Senryu) Comments

sandra, this is marvellous! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! 1

an excellent senryu sandra ma'm.....very witty...10

Short, simple but very remarkable piece. very well done! : -)

truth and sarcasm both there...expressive senryu...thanks...10

well i had no idea, one can narrate a moving, beautiful story through three lines.. this is an exceptional write indeed! ! ! nice love shan

Your poetic ability to express deep ideas in short words amazes me every time, dear Sandra. Thanks very much for sharing and best wishes to you. Amary.

a strong metaphor...

owwwwsss...first, i want to say that this is so nice..well presented in a form of senryu....naizz

This is a wonderfully written senryu, Sandra, a very expressive one. I think it might be a little better if you switched the second and third lines and dropped the word 'it, ' like this: 'Goodby sailor man/ Our short lived friendship/ ended when you jumped ship! ' That way, you saved the best and most impactful line for last! Carl.

And all nice girls love a sailor. My first love was studying to be an officer in the Navy and it was the uniform that did it for me! Clever work Sandra. 10 Karin Anderson

Brilliant senyru Sandra....it says so so much between those short lines.....10 from Fay

A nice written senryu, sandra!

story in a senryu... fine write.

a small story told in three lines...lovely