Safe In Now Comments

I agree with the comments by Daniel, make your poems free from repetition and it will give true and fair meaning.

The god herself who made me is all whom I've ever sought to touch, to know, to not let go. 'Man is perishable. That may be; but let us perish resisting, and if it be nothingness that awaits us, do not let us so act that it shall be justice' (Étienne Pivert de Senancour) .

Scrolling down a poem which contains significant repetition is awkward. Only three stanzas visible at a time makes locating the repetitions really hard, but at very least the repetitions must mean there is no closure to the issues you raise. The first and last stanzas are not repeated, so they must be the key situation of the poem. In the first things are falling apart. Love can't be held on to, a lost love causes pain, there's no escape into laughter. In the last the present moment is affirmed as the only time in which action has any impact. There seems to be a readiness to face the next moment, almost as if the repetitions which stalled you in indecisiveness have ended. The closing line SAFE IN NOW seems to be a surprising moment of affirmation. BTW I live the opening image of a rain of daylight cascading over you.