Saturday, April 12, 2008

.sad Girl Comments

Rating: 2.6

She waits on the steps of his building,
sitting daintily, so not to crease her dress
checking and rechecking her appearance
in a silver-plated compact mirror
...
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YURI DURAAN
COMMENTS
Mignon Bryant 19 August 2008

Very nice. I feel for that sad girl.: ( Good job!

2 1 Reply
Coach Roth 09 June 2008

Second by second, moment by moment, you describe your scene and it rings the truth for both men and women who have found themselves in a compromising position brought on by love...Coach

2 1 Reply
Loyd C Taylor Sr 12 May 2008

Hello friend Yuri. It was proably better that they didn't get together. A sad, interesting poem. Well done. L C Taylor

3 0 Reply
Gerhard Knight 21 April 2008

Good creation of expectation, but it leaves you with a sense of wondering of how it ended - lovely piece.

1 0 Reply

At the start we've 'her appearance in [..] a mirror': about the identity again. Then at two points it appears this 'avoiding eye-contact with passers-by' 'on the steps of his building': about to be looked up. Good poem, good narrative.

1 0 Reply
Eoshoros 12 April 2008

Beautiful writing...

1 1 Reply
YURI DURAAN

YURI DURAAN

South Africa
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