Runaway Poem by Tsukii ^^

Why is it getting tougher?
Every day feels the same—
Same old me,
Same old time,
And the same old lane.
Same nothing better.
This is insane.

How do you pull yourself back
When you're already far away?
I'm going insane,
Sick of even the lane.
I am lonely,
I am tired,
I am sick—
Buried in this heavy brick.

I forget to eat,
I forget to breathe.
Tear marks bring no good,
Only the burning,
The fire in the woods.
This is insane.

Suddenly, it went silent—
My mind went silent
To that tingling voice.
Everyone's growing,
And I'm left behind
Like the last leaf
Of a fallen tree.

This is insane.

How I want to disappear,
How I didn't even see much
And I'm already full.
I'm just too tired—
Too tired to run away.
Cut marks bring more despair.

I want to stop,
But everything keeps pushing me
Toward that lonely slayer.
Why am I becoming like this—
So pathetic, so gloomy?

I wish I wasn't like this,
But I can't change even a hair.
A flower would be better—
Though it will dry,
At least once,
It was admirable.
So soft, so free—
Yet it came from a fallen tree.

I want to do something,
But everything feels like waste.
Whatever I do
Goes in vain.
It's better to stay aside,
And wait for your day—
No sickness, no tiredness,
Just a gloomy day.

Begging for love,
Crying all day—
This is how
I grow every day.
Pen in my hand,
Thoughts in my mind—
Still not able to play.

Biting the air,
Trying to breathe.
How do I survive
These sleepless nights?
Tears in my eyes,
And oil in my hair—
I wish I could escape this despair.

I wish I were once a fairy—
So bright, so blue,
So cool, so true.
Sometimes I wonder how it would feel
To have someone by your side—
No worry, no cost—
Just to be the free air.

Sitting in a room,
Regretting every day—
This is not the game
I wanted to play.
Shivering hands,
Shivering legs—
I wish someone held me
When I was falling apart.

This is odd.
This is weird.
How am I tired
Of just 18 years?

Looking for a hand to hold,
Searching for a voice to cry to.
This is insane—
To have no way,
And to be stuck,
Stuck on a road with no way.

And when I look at my fingers—
Covered in blood,
From the cut I made—
It gives me a cold shiver.

What a hay I've become.
How can I be so cruel—
To punish that little girl
Who once promised to love herself
More than anyone?

It is sad,
How they're all disappearing—
Like a ringing in my head.
I wonder how long
I can hold on...
Or will I fall away?

I want to run
To that grassy field,
Where maybe I'll find another hay.
Maybe behind that giant
Is not a monster,
But a mortal
Who got lost in the bay.

I wonder how far I can run
To keep these thoughts away.
No matter how far—
I'm just going to go away.