Roots Poem by Sharon Namwalizi

And then it all dawned on me,
My mind couldn't fully comprehend.
But this is the closest I've gotten
To understanding why it always felt familiar.

It all started back in high school,
As much as I hate to think about it.
Everyone thought we were endgame,
—Heck, I thought we were soulmates.

But this is not about that,
It's not even about you,
It's about all of you—
But mainly me.
How it affected me,
How it affects me now.

How every situation feels so related to what happened—
Chasing the wrong targets,
Choosing the wrong race.

It's like I'm stuck in limbo,
The kind where you always
Want to fight to be picked.
It's crazy how often it has happened,
But looking back,
It makes a lot of sense now.

I'm too used to dropping everything
The moment I feel…
I don't even know what to call it.
But it blinds me deeply—
Everything else stops mattering.

It's kind of wack,
Uhm.
It's even sadder when you couldn't,
Even when you said you felt the same.
Saying life is not a movie—you were right.
But I still chose to dream…
My head will forever be in the clouds.

But I fully understand,
Okay, not fully, but I get it.

I like to think I take risks,
Some not even for my own good.
I respect how you think,
But I have to dream first—feed the fantasy a little before I get there.
That's just my way.

And sometimes it scares me how sudden everything shifts,
So I try to hold on to the dream as tightly as I can…
So as not to hurt you.
Even when it hurts me.
That's why I thought it's not me in control.

I just thought I needed to know the root.
I'm glad I found it.

~sharonnamzi
3/02/25: 22: 31