Tuesday, December 14, 2004

Rolf Comments

Rating: 5.0

It was so many years ago, and somewhat sad.
First grade, this little boy, so full of pride.
An intellectual curiosity that possessed this lad,
did not bestow the capability to save his hide.
...
Read full text

Herbert Nehrlich
COMMENTS
Kelly Allen Vinal 16 December 2004

The poem tells a good, emotional tale. It is, however, metrically inconsistent and is difficult to read. Definitely a higher-order poem, but not one for general public consumption. I recommend a rewrite to simplify the stanzas and breathe life into the meter. This one has great promise!

0 0 Reply
Sandra Osborne 14 December 2004

A bit awkward near the top, but really came into it's own by the end. I really like this one.

0 0 Reply
Close
Error Success