Tuesday, December 14, 2004
Rolf Comments
Rating: ★5.0
It was so many years ago, and somewhat sad.
First grade, this little boy, so full of pride.
An intellectual curiosity that possessed this lad,
did not bestow the capability to save his hide.
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COMMENTS
Sandra Osborne
14 December 2004
A bit awkward near the top, but really came into it's own by the end. I really like this one.
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8/14/2025 4:10:53 AM # 1.0.0
The poem tells a good, emotional tale. It is, however, metrically inconsistent and is difficult to read. Definitely a higher-order poem, but not one for general public consumption. I recommend a rewrite to simplify the stanzas and breathe life into the meter. This one has great promise!