I pray for smile
You offer tear
If courage is the rage
You make me more timid
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My father used to say, Man proposes God disposes. I too have turned back from demanding any thing from God with brlief that he would definitely do better for me and I am de my own job. To give or not to give I'd his duty not mine nor to my looe after. So keep patience and let the life be assailed to the universal truth. I congratulate you for your open hearted expression Thank you much for sharing.
Yes, life often gives the opposite of what we desire. I would stop short of desiring negative in hopes of having reverse prayer answered though. Peace