Renew Comments

Hi you. This is pretty good. Lines 11 and 12 are a bit clumsy because they do not flow and read as natural in imagery as the rest of the verse. Maybe try to express the lines in a different way? Forgive me for trying to be constructive but some people on here are just gushingly nice all the time - which is not helpful! Nice but not constructive. Developing the art of metaphor and imagery takes a lot of practice and hey! Each poet has their own VOICE and it gets honed by constant struggling to become better. A very good piece but rework those two lines and make it fantastico! Pat

Ananda, WOW! If this is what you write when you lack inspiration, just keep doing it. Brilliant! Brilliant! Brilliant. Just loved it from the first word. Top marks from me. Thank you for sharing it my friend. David

Ananda, Love it! MIND AND PEN My pen hesitates Not keeping pace with My hurried mind Which has already said 'I love you' A thousand times. My pen hesitates, And the ink dries, And my mind has said again A thousand times 'I love you! ' Couldn't resist sending this to you... Hey, we should go on tour together....Alves and Alves...just kidding! Your writing really is outstanding...stay fresh! write with and from your own passion...never to hurt, (although I do have a few in my 'Hey don't print that! ' file... Writing has such power...stay true...stay strong. Dorothy

That was awesome! ! : -) I especially liked the ending with all the ation's. That was most-excellent dude!

Excellent way of addressing writers' frustration. Well done Ananda...