Regain. Poem by Safiyyah Manjra

I miss my old professor,
The one whom I cared deeply for.

I can tell,
There wasn't a day I came out of his office and my knowledge didn't swell.

Every discussion.
Made the signals in my brain churn.

I was excited.
He was the one who I could share anything to if I was interested.

I would love hearing about his scientific findings.
He was doing big things with little things.

Just by thinking and discussing,
Would give him ideas which seem to be always ongoing.

I remember staring at a question.
Thinking how to solve it or where it even came from?

I also remember going to his office and staring at an equation.
Not having a single interest of how to solve it or where it came from.

It is because I was hurting.
I feel as though I am slipping away from the path of actually solving.

It is not me.
It is not what I want to do or see.

I love reading,
Spending hours on calculations which are ongoing.
I love thinking and processing.
I love hearing of new things which are occurring.

I regret sitting,
In front of you that day not listening.

I regret letting you see that part of my vices.
I was right there sitting in front you tearing to pieces.