Monday, August 24, 2009

Reality Of Life Comments

Rating: 4.3

I'm sitting on the rotten chair
Combing and playing my hair with care
Watching the kids chasing the man-made hare
They seem so free that it seems unfair
...
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syaz wafea
COMMENTS
Sulaiman Mohd Yusof 24 August 2009

Your reality of life seems to adrift from its main course, from the childhood memories, right up to realism of life.To be honest, childhood playground is not a conclusive comparison to the life that you intend to potray here, but the rhyming was good even with the forced ones.Anyway, this is your first attemp in writing poetry.Keep it up Syaz!

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