Poem 1 Comments

Gothic themes with high tangible vision of thoughts...

nice write.... the way u built your thoughts is superb... Swiftly moving towards the concluding lines... the imagery is used masterly and one can see all if happening in front of his eyes.... mature writing

Wonderful...Very different with a strong message..

This was a nice poem, i like the artistic view here...it nice to see you starting to write an english poem, keep it up...the journey as a writer will be expended if you try more...and it give you shine! thanks for sharing but sorry for delaying respond, bcause of busy time Azadeh_Soul

This is great for starting really nice and wonderful keep up writing the good works

Wonderful. This poem is for all. Something is coming up your sleeves. be careful before it gets hold of you. they eat and drink the roots of the extra strong hair we simple are waiting waiting waiting until we have dug our own grave. Lines that compel you to think and react. be on your toes for the coming danger. Jahan

very nice for the first one.sad ending.i enjoyed the meaning behind it.each person interprets it by him/her own idea thankenstein for sharing and keep up

Dear poet! Very great message you have penned here. Thats the Compulsion of we all that we are forlorn to see the Maladies. One day time deplumes every things from us and we realize. Serpents are lurking not only in your home's wall its in our home walls also. We have to be more courageous to break the chaos of the serpents. Well come to you in the field of English poem. We expect more poem from you.

Dear poet! Very great message you have penned here. Thats the Compulsion of we all that we are forlorn to see the Maladies. One day time deplumes every things from us and we realize. Serpents are lurking not only in your home's wall its in our home walls also. We have to be more courageous to break the chaos of the serpents. Well come to you in the field of English poem. We expect more poem from you.

tnx mr Ray Hart but I think this The problem is the whole world. Correct? Your opinion is not extensile to the whole world?

Azade, You have a very rich source of theme material for your poetry right where you are. Themes such as the story of your countries history and traditions. The west enjoys those themes in film. By best to you, Ray

poem 1 first dint title the passage, any good reason? 2nd feels a bit gothetic atomosphare, construction is bit wierd but coherent, end note is stunning........

first dint title the passage, any good reason? 2nd feels a bit gothetic atomosphare, construction is bit wierd but coherent, end note is stunning........

The content of the poem is well taken. Nonchallant attitude creates deep wound for all society. Well written but there is room for improvement. Keep writing

of course frnd. you have extraordinary talent. keep it up. Future is yours.

It's different but I write poetry with either poems verses have 2lines rhyme, then the next two lines rhyme, or every 1 and 3 rhyme, and line 2and4. Rhyme, I'm not saying how you write is wrong as we all have freedom of writing in various forms. It's okay though. I could picture children in thatched homes in Pakistan or India with grass in their mouth chewing on it as kids do. Talking of how they can get up to mischief. Great job. Meg Haig (Margaret)

well written..good keep it up!

waiting until we have dug our own grave. may god have mercy on them..... nice portray of darkness in earth

I think it's an allegory. The home is your homeland. I also love your country and want to see it as a safe place for its citizens and a developed peaceful abode. Anyway I like your poem. Keep on writing

Good message poet. Keep on writing.