Pierced Through And Through Comments
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She stood there transfixed
inside her coat of many colors and patches
filthy with leaves and dirt and unknown stains,
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A splendid snapshot of life that is both special and significant. Gripping and captivating poem that hold interest with multiple story lines that are excellently developed. Full of feeling for the poor! With open ears and open eyes the poet heard and saw then painted a beautiful picture! Well done!
WoW! ! I've heard of duplicate comments but I rarely see them because PH is usually a wet blanket about such things. Thank you again! ! !
Susan, you have a way of not just writing a scene and it's characters, but making them alive enough that I can step into the scene ith them. This piece has everything I could possibly want from a story, and as it neared its end I felt like I was a person walking away, having been in it, rather than just coming to the end of a piece I was reading.
Sure glad I had a box of tissues close at hand because your comment brought tears to my eyes. May what you just said about this story-poem be true of my novel-in-the-making. I try so hard to be inside the scenes walking them as the character, reacting as the character. Thank you far more than I can say- particularly as I sit here blubbering over your kindness and enthusiasm. You are compassion in a human form.
Now i am getting please write a comment of between 30-10 character. Whats going on?
Please try again- -I think the bosses are trying to curb the more loquacious comments- -I side-step their new rule by splitting my comment into two or more comments- -sneaky susan
Dear Susan, This is an outstanding poem. Being an artiste myself who has struggled my way up into the world of fine arts, i fully identify with the theme, content and the ethos built around it. A good piece of art is appreciated by a person who has the sense and sensibility, to perceive the beauty and value in art. It does not matter whether the person is rich or poor, educated or not. To quote: Then she murmured here I stand inches away from an original Rembrandt hanging on the wall I am old and grey and a nobody in every eye I meet but here I am standing in the presence of a genius who lived and breathed and pursued his art centuries ago painting the soul of this man capturing the spirit of this man. Susan, you have beautifully captured the soul of a true artiste. :) 100
Geeta, you speak from an artist's soul! My family is loaded with artists in the painting realm and I was merely brushed lightly [very lightly] with it. But I appreciate the small [very small] talent I received- -I just had to learn to be content with it. I am blessed with my Mother's best painting hanging on the wall by this computer- -I grew up with it over our dining room table and spent many hours imagining what went on inside those houses and behind those garden walls. I'd love to see your art work- -perhaps illustrating one of your poems? ? Thank you so much for your lovely and encouraging remarks above!
Susan, it is always a comfort and pleasure to read your brilliant poetry. It's quite obvious how much time, effort and energy is spent on these works of art. How you dig deep within your soul to present the human condition. I must confess that this one weighed heavily on my mind. I know homeless people who are very much like this beautiful soul in your poem. One of them has no home. So he lives in a storage locker. And he has such a brilliant mind. And such a great appreciation for all forms of art. Another lives on the streets. And he has such a great appreciation of poetry. I could go on, but I won't. I simply wish to say: Thank you so much for acknowledging this segment of the population. For opening up your heart and soul. For sharing your precious gift.
Richard, thank you very much for these words. So many educated people don't have jobs and often are rejected for being over-qualified. Our country is in deep sad trouble when this can be the state of affairs. Yet it is fair too for the less educated to be able to keep their jobs. Then there are all the other attendant reasons for living on the street- -PTSD and alcoholism and emotional difficulties and the list goes on and on. It hurts the soul to see so many homeless on our city and small town's streets. Thank goodness my church and other churches are actively providing food and clothing and blankets out on the streets not only of our town but also in Portland and Spokane. A drop in the bucket, I'm afraid, but a drop at a time can fill a bucket.
I look upon this poem as a hard punch on the arrogance of those who think that art is for the enjoyment of the wealthy and the privileged. A poor homeless woman also is a human being, perhaps with a heart and mind which can appreciate a work of art much more than a snob. She must have had good breeding and a cultured background, but must have now fallen from her hey days to days of deprivation and misery. We don't see her begging for alms. She, in no way, causes inconvenience to anyone who visited the gallery. Yet society is cruel to her. Her appreciation of the painting is deep and not an affected one. Those in the far fringes of society also should have access to the beauty of art and should be treated with love and respect. A lovely poem in a highly compassionate tone! Enjoyed reading this, Susan!
Perhaps wealth cannot buy a deep-soul appreciation of things they see so often in their social mileau- -but the wealthy certainly have the opportunity to see up close and personal all the art, hear all the symphonies, attend all the plays that we all would so love to do. Money... sigh. Even if the venue was free, the poor would still experience financial difficulties in just getting there and in hearing about the opportunities to attend free of charge. Loved your comment on this poem- you are, my dear, obviously a highly compassionate woman- a walking poem!
Susan, your poem is a work of art equal to the one being viewed by the homeless woman. You are a great observer, looking far beneath the surface. What can I add that hasn't already been said by other poets? Only that I was inspired to go look up Rembrandt's paintings and read about his life. Surprisingly, it is now officially thought that the Man in the Golden Helmet was not painted by Rembrandt, but by someone in his circle. Who really knows? It's a claim brought up only in 1969 and confirmed in 1986 - hundreds of years after the painting was made. Anyway, it matters not. Your poem is wonderful. Well done!
Oh, I'm glad my poem piqued your curiosity so much that you took a tour of Rembrandt's work. Awesome! ! ! Yes, I read that claim- -however, there are more than one Man in Golden Helmet- -apparently, students of the artist tried painting the same painting as he. But I swear only a genius could have created that painting I saw- -those eyes, those colors, the lines in his face- -those were so breathtaking and heart-breaking. The painting lives in my mind now as much as when I was standing in front of it.. Whoever painted that was a genius and I thank him for enriching my life. Thank you for your kind and encouraging words, Laurie, and I am so glad you roamed through the paintings of a Master.... amazing wasn't it?
This is brilliant, Susan. Rembrandt painted the beggars, the poor, the outcasts. I think he did so after finding that polite society could not tolerate his inspirations. If it were not for his turning to the homeless, we might never have had graphic, poignant records of their existence. We might come to the conclusion that such people did not exist in the past. Perhaps we would think they are somehow only an anomaly for and in our age. This poem goes on my favourites list. A 10.
Hey! Thank you for those words about Rembrandt and his subjects- I had no idea. I wish I had chosen this homeless person for the poem because it was fitting for the man Rembrandt was. Thank you for widening my horizons about this. The Bible points out that the poor are always with us. And they do seem to be interwoven into the fabric of the ages... French Revolution for one. Perhaps the cavemen didn't have the poor- -it was probably hunt and eat or don't hunt and die... who knows if they had a sense of family or community back then.
This is a classic, M'm! I thought I was standing close to a Rembrandt original. The way you developed the theme is just marvellous. The shades and nuances in description are just fantastic, e.g. Once the snow began falling her feet would not fare as well in those mismatched tennis shoes with their terminal holes in the toes as the rest of her would fare in her multiple layers of clothes. I have been away from PH for a while and have to catch up with all your good work. (10)
Welcome back! ! ! ! We have missed your voice! ! ! ! I'm so delighted that this poem had you standing in front of a Rembrandt. I pray that you have seen- experienced- a classic painting from one of the Masters in the flesh so to speak. I wish that for every one of us here in PH. It is a God-filled moment.
Your poems are so unique and they have reflections of your kind heart .You have deeper understanding of the downtrodden.Thanks for sharing.I will come back to read it again.
Bharati! It's good to hear from you! And I do hope you come back and read this again.
hi Susan, topics of the poem in a chain... art is homeless, homeless is humanity. i am not known to a single billionaire of some centuries ago, still breathing. people with art and humanity live forever. nothing is ridiculous. life is life. this earth is so much tiny and life of a single person is of moments. how much wealthy is a person, not in the burden of great or greater crimes and crimes of hearts. poor are those hearts... can't learn to use love, a wealth that is not consumed while being used. .. share with us if you listen a comment in whisper for this poem. beautiful
Thank you for searching this poem deeply and finding thoughts and ideas to pursue. I am glad you found some beauty and some humanity and a glimpse of someone gifted and a glimpse of something so artistic the artist must have been touched by God.
My dear Susan, only today on reading this poem, I had a glimpse of the kind of Human being you might be...and the cause why you have shared so less number of poems. Your poems, whatever you have shared with us, are not meant for the common man, rather they are supposed to be read by poets with wisdom and a deep introspecting eye or authors with years of publishing experiences. See, I have been reading this poem since a week long, but am yet to find courage within to dare write a critic on it. This poem took me 30 years back to the study table in our state library when I was searching for a book on Dante and accidentally reached a book, The Lust For Life (Life History of Vincent Vangogh) ..a book that changed the world of my perceptions..after reading a few dozen pages, I could not stop reading that book for that week several times. Your lines in this poem, I don't know why.. are inspiring me to go beyond, beyond the gravity of rules, bonds, ego, pride, and all such human achievements and be a silent seer sans words, sans communications, nothing but only perceiving the beauty underneath every form, every art and the nature. So my dear friend I adore so much, I'm sorry I can't comment on this poem so soon, before I grasp the vast dimension of observed truths as a whole. If you were a bit unprofessionally thinking with a raw mind and descend down to the roads of present day poetry.. then many poems could release from their frigid cell- which would be very much popular without any doubt. Would you please consider being a little soft to me and people like us and devote an hour a week to poetry and oblige? Don't mind If I have turned personal in any way. I felt like talking to you this moment, And so I did. Sorry if I would have caused any discomfort by crossing a line. Regards, A Susan Williams Fan
You brought a smile not only to my dace but also to my heart! This is one incredible critique and I value it very much. I had taken a course Introduction to Art in college- and there were plenty of photographs in the book and on slides...but when I went to an art museum in San Diego and saw a Rembrandt on the wall- - oh, did I ever understand the wealth of genius in his paintings and portraits- it knocked me off my feet to see it and that day has never faded from my mind similar to your experience with Lust For Life about Van Gogh. We are so fortunate to have had these incredibly life-changing moments with art in its different forms, aren't we? You were not too personal in this comment- -you approached as a friend and I value you as such so there was no crossing of any lines. I do try to write a poem every week or two weeks but I ran into a horrible snag in my novels that I have been buried with trying to correct. I do have a poem I might post today or more likely tomorrow- it isn't quite the way I want it yet. It feels nice, though, to hear that you and several other poets lookk forward to reading my efforts- -very nice indeed! ! ! WoW! This has been an incredibly encouraging comment to read and I take it to heart, my friend!
Oh my what a lovely write that captures so poignantly the plight of this woman and her perceptive observation of a great painting from the masters brush. Of course I had to match Rembrandt's famous painting with your poem as Jette had done. A poem that causes much reflection on attitudes and judgement. It makes one aware that circumstances can change in an instant and we may find ourselves subject to poverty and suffering.10+
Thank you, Simone, you are so right- -our financial circumstances can change in a heartbeat and even the well educated can end up struggling to maintain life while living on the streets. This story wrenched the pen out of my hand and wrote itself- -I like poems that are strong-willed and grab the steering wheel! Thank you for the 10 and thank you so much for enjoying the read!
This is a breathtaking reality of poverty behind the mask of having nothing but yet having everything. This woman has great passion brought to life by the genius Rembrandt she is articulate and has power of reasoning and insight into the painting of the old soldier with the golden helmet! She sees he is full of shame and sadness for deeds he had to do and now he suffers as he made other people suffer. Thr conflict never ends only when life ends will his torment be over. She feels his pain and suffering with the depth of seeing the brutality of living every day but because of this she sees such beauty in this painting with all it's pain and suffering in the old soldier's eyes. Beauty is shining from her eyes that have seen too much, too much, as the beauty of life still is part of who she is! I love this beautiful write that has an inspirational and outstanding story that needs to be read by us all!
Hazel, you felt and thought everything I hoped a reader would think and feel when reading this poem- -WoW that is such a satisfying thing to see! Thank you, Hazel, you are so receptive to the nuances and so sensitive to the way suffering deepens the response to other sufferers. Thank you, thank you, thank you! ! ! ! ! You have made my day. Bless you.
Interesting to view both the painting and the painted via poem simultaneously. The story interweaves the characters and creates a mystery all its own. Who are we to judge?
Indeed, even professional judges have difficulties in judging so maybe amateurs should find something else to do with their time! ! ! ! Thank you so much for reading and commenting- I learn so much about this craft from the poets who blessedly take the time to put down their experience with the piece. Thank you!
Oh, Susan! ! ! ! ! Such A Touching Piece, Such Heart! ! ! ! ! Such Soul! ! ! ! ! Very Breath Taking And Ever So Precious! ! ! ! ! Every Word Every Line My Heart Felt! ! ! ! You Have A Way Of Reaching Right To...You Have A Way...In All You Do! ! ! ! ! ! Thank You Ever So Very Much For Sharing This! ! ! ! ! So Beyond 10S! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! +++++++++++++++++++Again WOW! ! ! ! ! ! ! saved too
I think every person in the world should have a friend like you- -to be uplifted every day by your enthusiasm and warm heart and delightful soul! Thank you for lifting me up today, poetic friend! ! ! Thank you so much for the 10 and the fav listing! ! !
I like this piece, the flow you knit the plot from first line to last was really neat and beautiful :) Its been a while not reading you but when i read your new, i feel like oh now i remember who Susan willams is and how great her pen is. The talented and wise woman with strong heart..keep writing dear Susan, because so much things to say i know you have it... :) be happy there!
WoW! Thank you, Soul! ! ! ! I wish I could write more- - I see the amount of outpouring from other poets and feel so ashamed and paltry. Even if I weren't writing a series of novels, I do not think I could do better than 3 or 4 poems a month. Especially if I try a new style or type. You so encourage me with your kind words- -I actually take your kind words back to my novels and use them to pep me up and energize my efforts! ! ! Be happy, my friend, and flourish! ! !
I adore Rembrandt, his use of browns and the way he brings out the soul. There is a portrait of an old lady which lives in my memory forever. Your portrait of this old lady is worthy of the Great Master and your poem lifts the spirits. I can't think of a better poem on PH. You ought to write more, naughty Susan!
Tom! You would get bored if I wrote more! ! ! ! But I am so very pleased to hear that this one touched you and lifted your spirits, my English friend. Naughty Susan, huh? ? ? ? ! ! ! ! That gives me an idea... bwahahahahaha.
Hi Susie, Yes, the world judges a man by his attire, not by his attributes. You have captured this idea in its fullness, with a few masterly strokes. Her attire: Once the snow began falling her feet would not fare as well in those mismatched tennis shoes with their terminal holes in the toes as the rest of her would fare in her multiple layers of clothes. Her hair was matted and greasy her face streaked with dirt and grime had worked into the creases and pores of her raddled old skin: : This picture itself is like a painting coming alive before our eyes.- : : : old and grey and a nobody in every eye: : And her response to seeing the painting: : but she stood there utterly transfixed .....hypnotized and mesmerized .....spellbound and bewitched .............riveted because there inches away hanging on the wall in front of her- - an original Rembrandt.: : : Amazing. To identify a Rembrandt and discern its identity, its genius..... Remarkable. And her observation on the painting- that of a true lover of art- that of another genius: painting the soul of this man capturing the spirit of this man bringing his depths to the surface his inner being, his inner identity, his pain, his grief, his shame, his regrets all his emotional intensity there for the world of mankind to see century after century a human being and his essence individual and private no more a living breathing work of art.: : - A LIVING BREATHING work of art.... wonderful mind Susie... And then, : : the eyes are so sorrowful that I want to comfort the man forgive him for the wrong he has done that haunts the halls of the mind behind those eyes: : These lines are a tribute to the great painter who could capture the emotions of the warrior in the lines, strokes and colours; but they are equally a tribute to the beholder that she could read these emotions in the painting, in the masterly strokes. Not just that. She sees more: I can see he is an aging warrior once arrogant and cruel who only now sees that the sword in his hand has done too much... done too awful much. How do I know this? Witness those grieving eyes looking inward. And look! Look at those colors can you believe how all the colors brown can come so alive in brushstrokes so rich and vibrant: : : : : COLORS... ALIVE.... BRUSHSTROKES SO RICH AND VIBRANT: : what a write. And she is seen by others? : : that ragged creature: : : Wow! ! ! ! Only Susie can write this! ! ! But, then there is SW speaking through the man a few feet away: She spoke wiser than that tour guide over there and with more heart than the guard has in his puffed-up chest and with more understanding than most of us have or could ever have of the kind of regret that I can see now in the eyes of that old soldier with the golden helmet. Remarkable write. Absolutely honest. Captivating. Pretty longish poem; a little unlike the Susie we have seen. But every word makes us eager to read more! ! SEE more! ! ! ! Loved it. On to mypoemlist, so am reminded for a come back.. And very humble 100+++
You took me through a very valuable tour of my poem- - so instructive to see how almost every line was received. This kind of input is worth more than I can ever say., And it is the finest moment in writing that an author gets to see that the reader understood every nuance the author tried to paint the words with. Thank you so much for taking the time to read and give such a detailed critique, my good friend. And wow! ! ! if only they would permit 100's! ! ! ! ! . Yes, it is longest in page size- -but I hoped to get by with it because it reads so quickly! ! !
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7/18/2025 8:55:01 PM # 1.0.0
A splendid snapshot of life that is both special and significant. Gripping and captivating poem that hold interest with multiple story lines that are excellently developed. Full of feeling for the poor! With open ears and open eyes the poet heard and saw then painted a beautiful picture! Well done! !
Thank you, Howard! ! ! I love writing stories in verse poem- -I just plain writing stories! ! So your words are honey to my ego! ! hehehe