Thursday, May 28, 2015

Phantasmagoria Comments

Rating: 4.4

Winter's worthy ways wrestle with wonders
Worry wheedles where whippy willows whee
Weird wistfulness wooing wintry winnows
Whittled where worn-out wills wilt
...
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Nel Omofolarin
COMMENTS
Yewande Adedokun 21 July 2015

nice play on words and ability to convey and carry the message

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Yewande Adedokun 21 July 2015

Lovely play on words and still conveying the message. nice job bro

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Jayatissa K. Liyanage 20 July 2015

What ever others feel about this poem, I feel that it adds a different dimension to poem. No doubt, you would have put in some effort in bringing it up. Yet, its a different taste. Appreciated.

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Ayman Parray 19 July 2015

I read below in the comments somewhere that you put a lot of work into 'Phantasmagoria'. Writing can be very difficult sometimes, something I am sure we all must have experienced. The level of commitment you have put in this poem is simply amazing, definitely worth appreciation and celebration. The poem itself is quite entertaining, refreshing and challenging. I must have read hundreds of poems on PH but am yet to come across one like 'Phantasmagoria'. Thank you Nel, for sharing this wonderful and unique piece.

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Raymond Farrell 18 July 2015

It gives me the feel of winter and its storms and chill and the winter's blast.

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Captain Herbert Poetry 17 July 2015

Beautiful and smooth to read because of the rhyme. Superb

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G. Akanji Olaniyi 17 July 2015

Quite interestingly innovative to see and read! Although I am still battling with the idea and theme, but you have done almost the impossible bringing all these words together! Thanks for sharing! ! !

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Daniel Brick 17 July 2015

Do you know the 19th century German opera composer Richard Wagner? He wrote his own texts as well as the music, and he was fond of using the same consonant for several lines of text. One passage goes: WINTERSTURMME WICHEN / DEM WONNEMOND /... WUNDER WEBEND ER SICH WIEGT / DURCH WALD, etc. Singers claim it makes articulation very, very hard - to no good end. Wagner dropped the technique in later works. What you did is a virtuoso performance, we applaud the skill not the meaning. And translating those W-words into meaningful units of sense would be a big task for a reader. To what end? Could you give me the gist of the poem as a guideline? But don't take my word for this. Sound effects, including rhyme, are not my forte. For me poetry is driven by IMAGERY (sensory impressions) and FIGURATIVE LANGUAGE (similes, metaphors) . I don't concern myself with sound effects. But that's my bias, I don't present it as something others should emulate, only to explain my work. I admire your commitment, technically it's a ne plus ultra of poetry writing. James Joyce would applaud it probably - you'd be in good company - There's a poet at ALL POETRY Lynnrasa who does a lot with sound effects, I think you'd find a sensitive listener in her.

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Sandra Feldman 15 July 2015

Me thinks too many Ws in play, If only something they would say.....

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Fabrizio Frosini 15 July 2015

as Kim wrote below, ''Now if it only made sense you would really be on to something! '' :) dear Nel, for sure, this poem of yours is not easy to translate in Italian.. ;)

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Nel Omofolarin 15 July 2015

Its going to be a lot of work..it was a lot of work putting them together in English. If you are able to get the words right in English, you will find it really really meaningful sir

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Sandra Feldman 15 July 2015

Or any other language, at that.

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Kim Barney 12 June 2015

Absolutely astounding alliteration. Entertaining to read. Now if it only made sense you would really be on to something!

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Nel Omofolarin 15 July 2015

Split each words down, your dissection of these words will lead you to an intriguing genre which if embraced might give poetry a new look

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Hazel Durham 05 June 2015

Original, quirky with great play on words beginning with the letter w that is very entertaining!

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Mihaela Pirjol 30 May 2015

I enjoyed reading this poem - novel and original. All words beginning with the same letter, making a great use of alliteration.

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