Ph: Life: Growing Up, La! * - Chapter 2 - Rev 2 Comments

an epic tale Brian. enjoyed reading your poem Thank you Alan

ok brian, you hardly mention the girl in your poem. I could (I mean would have had to) read/”peek” between the lines to see how she was figuring in the story. [[ I tried to peek between her shutters, but no luck; they were shut up tightly. ]] mostly you write about the dirty, dangerous, boring, tiring, lonely job and looking forward to a change of pace on Sunday by going to the church. I’m not sure the girl was even attending the church. it is implied I guess. I don’t blame you for not returning to the church; you certainly didn’t fit it with the “flock”; you might have been the “black sheep”! but, ya know, if she did attend, maybe SHE didn’t feel that she fit in there either. you could have made the perfect couple. you both could have pretended to be faithful church attendees in order get into each others XXXXX. you could go sparking and spooning and maybe get hitched! face it, brian, you blew it! ! ! ! : (; (: (poor brian ................................................but once you were reborn, didn't you think to go back to the church to find her? ? ? but you probably saved money on clothing maintenance. la.

twenty thou......20,000+, not the thou as in the lord's prayer. (and pronounced differently) :) i hate to say it, but, as sometimes happens, brian has produced some great rhyming lines. pedalled ...variant of pedaled; we were both correct/right! - - - - - - - - - - BJ, you claim to have learned to fix many things at an early age. could you fix the sermon? With music's end the sermon broke, The world's sure end was near, Time now to sanctify all sin and furthermore, i thought end sure, but sure end or sure end sure could be ok, depending on the intended meaning. heh heh sanctify? are you sure? - - - - - - - - - - - - - God's really mad, this cannot stand, No doubt that it is prov'n [proving] Those rockets from Canaveral Are shooting holes in Heav'n ............great stanza, but are we sure brian wrote this? it is pretty darn good! Canaveral........Cape Canaveral space center (Florida) , site of early (and later too) launchings of u.s. space ships. i think it got its name changed to Kennedy Space Center after our president's assassination, but some people wanted the old name and it may have been changed back? flock=church members / with all the renting going on, it must have given the local tailor or seamstress busy each week. OK, brian, apparently my rare vote (of, yes,10) boosted you from 8.5 to 9.0. happy? :) ;) :) where's my Dr. Pepper? ? ? ? thanks for sharing. i hope the wait was worth it. bri :)

Damn again! ! this time i typed a comment on the two added stanzas. but before i submitted it i decided to VOTE, which i haven't done at a poem in ages, except with my own sweet words. and i think hitting vote caused me to lose the comment which i had not yet submitted. it's enough to make one spit nails! BUT the sun is shining outside, the breeze is blowing, i have food and drink (water) , and life is good, so why am i letting this bother me. when i get back from a break i guess i'll just reconstruct ANOTHER LOST COMMENT. bri :) : (

Such a beautiful narrations and descriptions you have made. Am too young for this comment but this poem placed all the angles of life straight to me. Also looking at the titles of upcoming parts of the same piece, its really ensured that I might have a clear picture of relationships and way to lead the life. :)

Poetically arranged, this poem is very revealing as its deeply exposes the poet's early life as well as the subsequent years of his life..... I enjoyed this powerful narrative. Great job!