Ph: Kim: Three Minute Attention Span Comments

i'm working my way through this, searching for rhymes. none! ok. The act of leaving a reward all its own...............leaving what, or where or what where? ? Being hired means you're soon to be sacked, ...........iIS you a potato? ? You are soft to the touch but quite hard on the mind...............soft to the touch sounds nice. :) :) i'm not so enthused about hard on the mind! : ( : ( except for penises and nipples, i think body parts should not be hard. ok, bones also. ;) now to Poet's Notes (thanks for them btw; i was thinking Kim is your present 'girlfriend'!) : until I realize that the emotional distance between people of short attention span and I is actually reflected in the distance between lines that rhyme in the poem..........OH! there ARE rhymes? ? ? i'll go back and look again. and i think here: ...between people of short attention span and I.... ........... the proper/correct pronoun to use is me, not I in this instance. hmmm? ok, i see the rhyme scheme. it probably would have been more obvious if my journey through the poem hadn't been so ARDUOUS******! ! ! ******i may have never used this word, arduous, in my lifetime, but i've heard it used. that reaching for a rhyme explains the use of sacked, which i hadn't figured out! i think i would have preferred 'blank verse'. better yet, blank page. hee-hee. HA HA! bri ;)

Good imagery in this poignant piece